1
00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:45,179
Why can't you have your off switch on
the same side as the old one?

2
00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:47,080
And why does it always stick?

3
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,980
I've had just about enough of you.

4
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,290
Hypocrite.

5
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,340
Oh, I'm sorry.

6
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,160
You don't want to go in there, do you?

7
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:07,670
I'm not surprised. It's been the death
of many a vacuum cleaner.

8
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,660
But that's the way it is.

9
00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:14,040
Stormy Norman had to go into Q8, and we
have to go into David's bedroom.

10
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:16,850
All right.

11
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,360
Stay behind me.

12
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,360
Oh, God.

13
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,020
The Secret Diary of David Porter.

14
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,020
Do not read.

15
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,700
This story is true.

16
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,930
Only the names have been changed to
protect the innocent.

17
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:04,880
This is where I live.

18
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,880
A seemingly normal family home in West
London.

19
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,380
There are five of us here. My mother,
the chief.

20
00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:12,960
She's about 50.

21
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,580
Then there's Dad.

22
00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,870
Tough, but tender.

23
00:03:20,630 --> 00:03:24,330
And of course, the floozy of the unit,
my sister.

24
00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:26,000
David!

25
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:27,990
I'm the kid brother.

26
00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:29,320
A tough job.

27
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:30,750
Somebody's got to do it.

28
00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:35,469
Who would have thought to look at all
these ordinary people that this family's

29
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:39,110
hotbed of deceit, treachery, and willful
deception of others?

30
00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:40,420
Don't believe me?

31
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,210
Let me illustrate.

32
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,470
It all started innocently enough.

33
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:50,879
One day, while I was doing some routine
investigation... Oh,

34
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:55,199
my

35
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,320
God! What's that?

36
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:00,740
A lobotomy. Want one?

37
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,080
Where did you get it?

38
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:03,620
It's a sheep's brain.

39
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,370
Oh, going to replace yours with higher
life form?

40
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,520
Least I only have one tongue in my
mouth.

41
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,810
What do you mean?

42
00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:13,360
Sammy's cousin saw you in the Odin last
week with Ratface.

43
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:14,710
In Snuggie's Corner.

44
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:17,860
If you say anything... Oh, oh, I'm
terrified.

45
00:04:17,861 --> 00:04:20,159
Yeah, well, just keep your mouth shut.

46
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,210
Unlike you, eh?

47
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,270
Snuggie's Corner.

48
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,610
Shut up!

49
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,650
Where's Mum?

50
00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,440
Out. Where is she?

51
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:29,180
Handling her advertising.

52
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,120
I see you put a card in the window.

53
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,460
Er, yes.

54
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,820
Hop it. This is my pitch.

55
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:52,880
Not much call for the Julie Andrews
type, anyway.

56
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:56,020
No, you don't understand.

57
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,400
I cater for parties. Don't we all in
this reception?

58
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:01,840
I'm waiting for a card.

59
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,000
No, it's my partner. She's picking me
up.

60
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,530
There she is.

61
00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:19,850
I quoted him 200 pounds for French, 150
for Greek, or 80 quid just for nibbles.

62
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:25,590
What was that?

63
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:27,800
A tart.

64
00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,670
She thought we were tarts as well.

65
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,750
That's a compliment, really, isn't it?

66
00:05:34,950 --> 00:05:36,000
Is it?

67
00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:39,570
Well, if you thought we looked like if
men would pay us for it.

68
00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:44,389
Rona. Men would pay to have it off with
Leon Britton if he told them they were

69
00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:45,440
good at it.

70
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:51,890
Maybe if we get another job, I can
finally change this thing.

71
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:53,670
Did he seem interested?

72
00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:54,880
Not really.

73
00:05:54,881 --> 00:05:58,149
I wouldn't have minded, but while I was
pitching, he insisted on watching me

74
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,210
snickle to them.

75
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:00,960
Silly cow.

76
00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:07,590
See you to... Rona?

77
00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,210
man in your front room.

78
00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:15,480
Who is he?

79
00:06:17,070 --> 00:06:20,210
Nobody. Um, perhaps I will come in for a
moment.

80
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:23,530
It's all right, he'll understand.

81
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:28,150
She's on that bloody phone again, I'll
kill her.

82
00:06:45,710 --> 00:06:46,970
Last number redial.

83
00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:50,460
I'll get directory inquiries that I rang
last night, won't I?

84
00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:53,660
Hello, directory inquiries. What area,
please?

85
00:06:54,510 --> 00:06:56,620
I'm sorry, I was expecting somebody
else.

86
00:06:56,621 --> 00:06:57,669
That's all right.

87
00:06:57,670 --> 00:06:58,720
Bye, Jason.

88
00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:00,670
Bye, Mrs... Oh, hell!

89
00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:05,750
Just only a quick call. You realise
we're going to get itemised bills soon?

90
00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:08,250
There's no privacy in this place.

91
00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:10,330
It's like being in the royal family.

92
00:07:10,331 --> 00:07:14,009
Well, don't throw yourself down the
stairs. It only encourages the sun.

93
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,570
Make me feel at home, don't you?

94
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:16,710
Nice try, though.

95
00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:18,430
Be your nature.

96
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,190
Rona?

97
00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:22,470
Yes, right.

98
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,600
You look as if you've seen a ghost.

99
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:25,830
Perhaps I have.

100
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,250
Who was that?

101
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,020
I don't really want to talk about it.

102
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,400
Coffee or tea? Adam.

103
00:07:30,401 --> 00:07:31,679
What? Sorry?

104
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,730
You said Adam.

105
00:07:32,731 --> 00:07:33,799
I said coffee.

106
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,080
No, no, you said Adam.

107
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:39,499
Shall we just forget about Adam for a
moment? You started it. Your men are

108
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,550
of my business.

109
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:43,560
He is not one of my men.

110
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:44,920
Well, what is he then?

111
00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,360
Nobody. All right.

112
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,100
Mind if I have a brother?

113
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:51,070
What did you say?

114
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,450
I only want one.

115
00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:53,860
You've got a brother?

116
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,600
Is he a sex maniac as well? What have
you been doing with my knife?

117
00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:58,870
Sorry, get a go.

118
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,680
I still have to wonder if that boy's got
a brain.

119
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,400
You never told me you had a brother.

120
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,080
No, I didn't.

121
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:08,980
You two had an argument.

122
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,120
You could say that.

123
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,660
Why don't you go over and see him?

124
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,070
Difficult. Why?

125
00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:17,720
I haven't been in for a while.

126
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,290
A while?

127
00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:20,430
Eleven years.

128
00:08:20,431 --> 00:08:23,519
That's more than a while, really, isn't
it?

129
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:28,439
I think a while is officially under
three years. Three to six years is ages,

130
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,920
seven is officially one yonk.

131
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,890
Don't say hello.

132
00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,059
It's my problem, OK?

133
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,820
Can we just leave it?

134
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,120
Rona, it's family.

135
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,310
Sometimes we just have to put our
feelings aside.

136
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:45,169
Thought it. Never does that in the
films.

137
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:49,550
Hello?

138
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,290
Yes, it is.

139
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,960
Oh, God.

140
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,410
Yeah.

141
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,650
All right.

142
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:00,070
Bye.

143
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:04,060
Stupid, silly old bat.

144
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,360
Who? The bell again. Come on.

145
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,320
What's going on? Nothing.

146
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,700
I'll never get to know anything around
here. Let's just...

147
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:21,620
Can you see anything?

148
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,330
No.

149
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,090
Come on.

150
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,720
God knows why they always call me.

151
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:32,940
This must be the place.

152
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:41,510
She's getting worse.

153
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:44,250
Well, at least unblock the letterbox.

154
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:46,530
All right, then. But no tricks.

155
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:50,780
Say, Arden.

156
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:52,400
It's me.

157
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,850
See? Is she all right?

158
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:56,600
Can't see.

159
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:57,900
It's dark.

160
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,350
What about the other one?

161
00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:02,030
You'll have to look through.

162
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:04,190
Oh. Smile.

163
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:05,970
How will she know?

164
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,650
Just a thought.

165
00:12:21,371 --> 00:12:25,299
You wish you'd gone back to your brother
now.

166
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,350
No.

167
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:27,860
What is it with you and him?

168
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,240
You don't know him.

169
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:32,280
He looked all right. Oh, yes, he looked
all right.

170
00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:35,180
But appearances can be deceptive.

171
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:43,000
Later that day, my father returned with
his assistant, the Christine woman.

172
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,260
He had a secret of his own.

173
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:46,890
Here we are, then.

174
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:51,300
If I have to bend any more pipes, I'll
have arms like bleeding Popeye.

175
00:12:51,301 --> 00:12:58,339
Some people pay thousands of pounds to
join our club to build up their muscles.

176
00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,450
And some people are dick brains then.
Yeah.

177
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,690
That's it for today.

178
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,410
Oh, right.

179
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,200
I'll go home, shall I? Right.

180
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:07,230
It's a long way.

181
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,290
Yeah.

182
00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:11,639
Well, don't offer me a cup of tea or I
might keel over and start biting the

183
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,999
pile. I'm sorry, I've got things to do,
you understand?

184
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,959
Oh, yeah, I understand. I've got things
I want to do as well. Good.

185
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,059
Only instead of doing them, I'm going to
be wedged on a number 22 with 15 ,000

186
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:22,140
football supporters.

187
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,820
Gobbing on me Reeboks.

188
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,470
See you then.

189
00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:31,139
Are you going to collect me on Monday or
shall I take the easy way and book up a

190
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,820
trip with Saran and bloody fines?

191
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,070
Whatever.

192
00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:38,260
Dad, is that you?

193
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:44,870
Hi, Dad.

194
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,680
What is this?

195
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,340
Nothing. Just an experiment.

196
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,070
Oh, yes.

197
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,650
Like the washing machine and gerbil
incident.

198
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,000
That was bad luck.

199
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,170
Don't worry, I'll get rid of it.

200
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:58,409
What's that?

201
00:13:58,410 --> 00:13:59,460
What?

202
00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:02,330
Oh, great, Ninja Badger 2.

203
00:14:02,331 --> 00:14:03,169
Hold that.

204
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,569
I didn't know it'd come out. It's a day.
Do you want to play it now?

205
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:08,949
Thanks. Well, I'll set it up for you,
shall I? I can do it. Well, I'll show

206
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:09,729
how to play it then.

207
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:10,709
I know.

208
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:11,760
Let me have it.

209
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:13,130
I thought it was for me.

210
00:14:13,131 --> 00:14:14,069
It is.

211
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,180
I just want to look at something on the
box.

212
00:14:16,550 --> 00:14:18,090
Look into my eyes and say that.

213
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,929
I just want to look at something on the
box.

214
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:21,980
It's the truth.

215
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,520
Nuts.

216
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,430
Is Rona here? I don't think so.

217
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:38,300
I thought I'd come in. No, I think they
went out again. Sorry, I'm a brother.

218
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:40,320
Oh.

219
00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:42,030
Hi. Ben Porter.

220
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:43,710
Adam. Pleased to meet you.

221
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,650
Do you want to come in and wait?

222
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:46,740
Oh, thanks.

223
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:53,750
Back at the stakeout, my mother -in -law
had summoned assistance.

224
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:56,710
She later admitted it was a big mistake.

225
00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:58,950
Hello. I'm Mo.

226
00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:00,540
Social services.

227
00:15:02,699 --> 00:15:04,720
Lovely. And what's your name?

228
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,900
Bill. And Rona.

229
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,450
Lovely.

230
00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,620
And which one of you is the carer?

231
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,400
I am the niece.

232
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:20,759
Lovely. And I believe we have one
distressed and or disorientated elderly

233
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,260
person. No.

234
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:26,380
No? We have one stupid old woman who
won't open her door.

235
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,750
Have you attempted to gain access to the
premises?

236
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,510
We just thought we'd spend our holidays
in this corridor. Is it so lovely here?

237
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,440
She won't open the door.

238
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:44,099
Well, fortunately, we do have training
in extensive role -playing persuasion

239
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:47,740
techniques, which can be very useful in
these cases.

240
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,440
What do you want?

241
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:54,940
Hello. I'm Moe from Social Services.

242
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,860
I wanted to discuss with you the
concern...

243
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:05,030
help me by opening your door just a
little teeny bit?

244
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:06,750
Bugger off!

245
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:11,840
Do you know what I've just found in my
pocket?

246
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,230
I drank something!

247
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:19,500
It's a tape. It's called Sing Along With
Max by Mr Max Bygraves.

248
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:25,459
Sometimes when I visit my elderly
persons, I put it on and we all sing

249
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:28,080
with the songs from the old days to
cheer us up a bit.

250
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:55,780
back to the office now.

251
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,560
Can't you send someone to force the
door? She's got no food in there.

252
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,650
Unhappily, that does not come within the
remit of social services.

253
00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:08,520
I might be able to get Scott to drop by
if I pull a few strings.

254
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:11,330
Yes, but where would he park Thunderbird
One?

255
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,880
He's our crisis counsellor. Would he be
any help?

256
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,310
Not really. He's had a nervous
breakdown.

257
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,839
You must be able to do something.

258
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,740
I'm afraid in a case like this, my hands
are tied.

259
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:27,569
though they should be, to a stake.

260
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,370
Any more ideas?

261
00:17:30,690 --> 00:17:31,970
Let's see if I can see her.

262
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:55,830
to get off with their sister's boyfriend
while she's out.

263
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:57,560
Well, you haven't got a sister.

264
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:59,200
I was the sister.

265
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,100
Oh. You mean he's, um... Yeah.

266
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,840
Never thought at the time.

267
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,580
Seemed to get on well.

268
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,399
Went out together and everything.

269
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,050
Well, surely you must have noticed about
him before.

270
00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:15,939
Oh, yes, but he hadn't been interested
in any of the others.

271
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:17,560
He's a chubby chaser.

272
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,090
A what?

273
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:22,740
He's only turned on by men of a certain
size.

274
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,290
I don't know, but it's getting on very
well with Dad.

275
00:19:33,291 --> 00:19:34,799
How long have you been in the company?

276
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,920
Just a few days. I move around quite a
bit.

277
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,440
What do you do exactly?

278
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:39,550
I'm Lord Lucan.

279
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,960
No, I sell office equipment.

280
00:19:42,961 --> 00:19:46,059
Oh, travelling salesman, eh? Yeah. Is it
true what they say?

281
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,770
What? Well, you know, they never miss an
opportunity.

282
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,720
Well, I never was one to resist
temptation.

283
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,430
Lucky sod.

284
00:19:55,631 --> 00:19:57,719
Sure, then, woman?

285
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,180
Er, no, thanks.

286
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,530
How's Rona been?

287
00:20:06,531 --> 00:20:07,799
You heard about her second wedding?

288
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,500
Yeah, heard she did a runner again.

289
00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:11,110
Ah.

290
00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:15,630
And of course, the photographer was
waiting outside for him to come out.

291
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,760
You've got to see this.

292
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:38,970
I saw her coming out the church door.

293
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:42,300
Saw her running down a path, bit
blurred.

294
00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,230
I saw her running out the gate.

295
00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:46,280
Oh, she's gone now.

296
00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:49,920
What's up?

297
00:20:51,070 --> 00:20:53,420
She never did have much luck with her
love life.

298
00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:55,560
No.

299
00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:59,190
If I found a man I really liked, I'd
want to hang on to him.

300
00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:05,090
Yeah, so would I.

301
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,530
What's the matter?

302
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,070
Look.

303
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:19,859
I don't know what's gone on between you
and Rona in the past, but surely that is

304
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:20,940
in the past, isn't it?

305
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:24,340
Is it getting hot in here?

306
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:32,399
Meanwhile, the chief was making one last
call in an attempt to bring to an end

307
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,660
the whole sorry caboodle.

308
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,120
Hello? I don't want double glazing.

309
00:21:43,381 --> 00:21:45,469
those people.

310
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:49,510
One word and they send men round to go
all over your house.

311
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:54,950
I don't want my private parts measuring
for patio doors.

312
00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:57,210
Mum, it's Aunt Belle.

313
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:01,370
It's raining up here. Is it raining down
there?

314
00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:03,190
She wants to see you.

315
00:22:03,410 --> 00:22:05,430
Well, she knows where I am.

316
00:22:05,910 --> 00:22:10,710
Look, Mum, I can't go on lying to her.
She wants you to visit.

317
00:22:11,090 --> 00:22:15,090
Well, I wanted her to come to your
father's funeral.

318
00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:16,860
I know.

319
00:22:17,490 --> 00:22:19,090
Well, she knows where I am.

320
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:24,010
Look, Mum, I can't go on covering up for
this thing any longer.

321
00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:28,709
I tell her you send your love, I tell
her you're busy, but I'm not going to

322
00:22:28,710 --> 00:22:29,970
cover up for this anymore.

323
00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:31,100
Is that clear?

324
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:32,160
Quite clear.

325
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:48,150
Well, she knows where I am.

326
00:22:49,710 --> 00:22:50,760
Bye, Mum.

327
00:22:56,130 --> 00:22:58,210
Maybe I'd better get back and see Adam.

328
00:23:07,870 --> 00:23:09,910
Oh, is she coming?

329
00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:15,990
Um, she, uh... She sent her love.

330
00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:17,870
But she's busy.

331
00:23:21,790 --> 00:23:22,840
Oh, Bill?

332
00:23:25,050 --> 00:23:26,610
Oh, come on, let's go home.

333
00:23:35,210 --> 00:23:36,260
I'm back!

334
00:23:36,550 --> 00:23:37,630
We're in the bedroom!

335
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:41,630
Shall I put some food on or is somebody
eating the kitchen?

336
00:23:46,730 --> 00:23:47,830
have it back. It's mine.

337
00:23:48,290 --> 00:23:50,350
Give it to me. No, go away.

338
00:23:50,351 --> 00:23:56,629
He won't let me play Ninja Badger. Oh,
you haven't gone and bought another of

339
00:23:56,630 --> 00:23:57,850
those things, have you?

340
00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:00,360
Did anyone ring about the catering?
Yeah.

341
00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,540
The bloke said he decided to hire
McDonald's instead.

342
00:24:03,630 --> 00:24:06,790
I hope he gets a hernia trying to suck
up the milkshakes.

343
00:24:08,610 --> 00:24:11,370
At least Rona's making it up with her
brother.

344
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,790
He's a nice bloke. He came over.

345
00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:16,670
What? Yeah, we've got them really well.

346
00:24:16,671 --> 00:24:18,129
We're going out together tomorrow.

347
00:24:18,130 --> 00:24:22,370
Oh, Ben, are you going to wait up for
me? Or shall I slip on my electronic

348
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:23,720
Where are you going?

349
00:24:23,721 --> 00:24:25,449
I'm only meeting Jason at the Odeon.

350
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:27,010
What's on? Beauty and the Beast.

351
00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:29,540
How did man ever get to the top of the
food chain?

352
00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:31,390
Practice. Have a nice time.

353
00:24:32,030 --> 00:24:33,710
And don't sit in Snugger's corner.

354
00:24:33,910 --> 00:24:35,230
How do you know about that?

355
00:24:36,830 --> 00:24:37,880
David told me.

356
00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:39,120
I didn't.

357
00:24:39,130 --> 00:24:41,590
Here, have a hot dog and dream on.

358
00:24:41,990 --> 00:24:44,690
Oh, God, on the durst day of the 90s.

359
00:24:44,691 --> 00:24:48,279
And whatever it was you sneak back from
the butcher's, they'd better be gone

360
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:49,139
when I check.

361
00:24:49,140 --> 00:24:50,190
Yes, Mum.

362
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,020
Um, Finn.

363
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,120
What? Uh, there's something you ought to
know about Rona's brother.

364
00:24:57,121 --> 00:24:59,499
Oh, you mean that he's, uh, yeah, he
told me.

365
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:04,179
Oh, well, I thought you might be worried
that... Nah, anyway, told me only

366
00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:05,260
ghosts are fat blokes.

367
00:25:12,791 --> 00:25:14,879
What's bugging you?

368
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,100
Oh, it's Aunt Belle.

369
00:25:16,460 --> 00:25:18,520
I think she's found out about Mum.

370
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,340
Well, you never were very good at lying.

371
00:25:21,341 --> 00:25:25,599
That's great, coming from you. Everybody
knows when you're lying.

372
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,379
Oh, yeah?

373
00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:27,430
Yes.

374
00:25:27,980 --> 00:25:29,030
Well, go on.

375
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,490
Try it.

376
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:31,830
Right.

377
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:33,690
True or false?

378
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,220
If I can't play ninja badger tonight, I
thought of something better to do.

379
00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:40,880
True. No, I was lying.

380
00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:42,460
You'd better not have been.

381
00:25:51,429 --> 00:25:55,790
No, I'm on a super saver, so come on,
let's get it over and done with.

382
00:25:55,990 --> 00:25:57,040
Right.

383
00:25:57,190 --> 00:25:58,310
Nice to see you, Bette.

384
00:26:00,150 --> 00:26:02,410
He's getting better at that, isn't he?

385
00:26:06,870 --> 00:26:07,920
What's going on?

386
00:26:08,170 --> 00:26:09,220
Nothing.

387
00:27:00,140 --> 00:27:01,240
Miss Jim's funeral.

388
00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:05,540
Oh, that's all right. It was a long way
to come, anyway.

389
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,640
It was years ago. It's all forgotten
about.

390
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,800
How are you?

391
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,090
Not so bad.

392
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,580
Um, can we come in?

393
00:27:16,660 --> 00:27:17,720
Looks a bit dark.

394
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:19,360
Let's see what we can do.

395
00:27:43,681 --> 00:27:46,939
Tell us what happened that evening.

396
00:27:46,940 --> 00:27:51,180
But one thing is sure. You can't keep
secrets for long in a joint like this.

397
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,380
That's why I keep my secret in a special
locker in my room.

398
00:27:56,020 --> 00:27:57,940
Together with this diary.

399
00:27:57,990 --> 00:28:02,540
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